Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
