i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
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