I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
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