I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
