honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Randomize
