i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
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