Grow some girl-balls and come out already
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Randomize
