You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Randomize
