Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
