you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Naked. naked and bneed help.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
