Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
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