My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
