I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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