Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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