They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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