I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I take back everything I said about communal showers
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
why is half of my head shaved?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
