just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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