I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
