she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
