He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
