Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize