He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
