I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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