school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
