remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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