I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize