You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
they're like a gay fantastic four
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
