She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
