She announced her abortion via fbk
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Randomize