I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
