That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
