I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
