Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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