Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Randomize