I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
