Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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