Just mADE A PArabola og urine
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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