Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
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