make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
