Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
True strength comes from lack of pants
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
