so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
