Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
The uberlube is also flammable
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
