I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Randomize
