So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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