do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize