The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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