At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Drunk walkin through police station. America
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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