After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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