best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
