Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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