Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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