It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
