Christians are straight up FREAKS
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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