I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
