I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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