I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
