Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
