sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I just found puke in my bra..
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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