I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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