Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
