At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
