ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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