I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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