just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize