yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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